End Results
by Liz Williams
Summary: PostButterflied Sara goes to confront Grissom about what she heard.


Title: End Results  
  
Author: FunLiz  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own nuffin'.So poor that prison might be and up in life, having said that I like my stuff: bed, computer, books, so really please don't sue me. I own none of the characters used here.  
  
She turned to walk out, to walk away, this time for good.   
  
The doorknob was ripped from her grasp as a hand shot by her shoulder, slamming the door shut. His other hand brushed past her waist, and in the echoing silence left by the door, the distinct sound of the bolt slamming home was deafening.   
  
Sara leaned forward, resting her forehead against the cool, unforgiving wood. She desperately wished that she had stayed home tonight, stayed in her apartment. She had promised herself a hundred, a thousand times that she would not chase him any more. Not after he made it so abundantly clear that he did not feel the same way. But she knew he felt something for her now, and she had foolishly thought that him admitting - to Brass and a suspect no less - would mean that he was ready to admit it to her.   
  
God, she wished she had never come here. To his apartment, to Vegas, maybe even to that seminar all those years ago.   
  
His breathing was ragged in her ear, fast harsh puffs ruffling her hair and tickling her cheek. It made her weak in the knees, made her stomach feel like a flock of butterflies had taken up residence.   
  
God, she wished that she had never seen those butterflies, never seen any of the beautiful, horrible, incomprehensibly delicate insects that had helped lead Grissom down a rabbit hole from which neither of them would ever truly emerge.   
  
"No." The harshness of his voice made Sara jump, but she had nowhere to escape with his arms caging her at opposing shoulder and hip. "Not this time."   
  
Tendrils of electricity sparked and raced down her spine and across her arms, causing goosebumps to rise. Whether it was a reaction to his words or to his tone of voice, Sara had no idea.   
  
The hand that had been resting by the lock came to settle on her hip, tentative at first, then grasping. Grissom's forehead came down slowly to lie on her shoulder, his hand travelling from her hip to her stomach, holding her in place as his body slowly aligned itself against hers. His chest pressed against her back, his hips cradling her ass, his thighs resting gently against the backs of her legs.   
  
"Don't go. Stay. This time…" His words had never stopped, Sara realized. She had been so distracted by his proximity, by his touch, that she had hadn't heard. His words had never stopped, but they weren't making any sense either. But then, when had his words ever really made sense to her?   
  
"Please. Just, please…" His hand was caressing her stomach now, moving in slow circles that Sara supposed would be soothing were it not for the shaking of his hand. Or the fact that it was Grissom behind her, clutching at her with a quiet desperation that she found equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.   
  
While Sara had seen his confession earlier, she was at a loss with what to do with the onslaught that was now aimed directly at her. The glass had been a cold yet comfortable barrier between them then. There had always been barriers between them - real or imagined - keeping him from her. In the interrogation room, it had been a physical wall that Sara had been able to look through, but could not reach through.   
  
A jolt shot through her body as his lips planted a fast, gentle kiss where her shoulder met her neck. He did not kiss her again, but he neither did he resume the incoherent stream from before. Instead he just nuzzled her neck with his nose, his hand slowing until it was just his thumb rubbing small circles below her sternum.   
  
"What's going on here, Gris?" Sara's voice was barely above a ragged whisper.   
  
"I don't want you to leave. I'm terrified that it would be for good this time. That if you walked out, nothing I could say or do would keep you here." As he spoke, Grissom's hand pulled her into a tighter embrace.   
  
Parts of their earlier fight flashed through her head. She hadn't come here to fight with him. Truth be told, she wasn't entirely sure why she had come, except that they couldn't go on as they had been. Right from the start things had gone wrong. Sara had wanted Grissom to know that she had heard how he had acted throughout the whole case, including what he had said in the interrogation room. As soon as Grissom realized that she been on the other side of the glass he shut down, shutting her out. She'd accused him of being a coward, he called her a spoiled child in a cold, emotionless voice. After that, there had been no recriminations or rebuttals. Sara had calmly told him good-bye, and headed for the door.   
  
"You can't have it both ways," she told him. "You can't keep me at a distance, then pull me in until it's just the two of us. I can't do this back and forth any more. It's confusing." The words echoed through the years, and Sara wondered if Grissom remembered a similar conversation. One of the many that he had ignored.   
  
"I'm sorry, Sara. I don't mean to hurt you, or confuse you. It's just so hard, having to watch every thing I say to you. Worrying that every gesture I make could be construed as something it's not." As they spoke, Grissom's hand had migrated lower. By the time he finished speaking, his ring and pinkie finger were brushing the bare skin of her stomach.   
  
The breath hitched in Sara's lungs and her stomach tensed. Grissom froze and started to take his hand away as if burned.   
  
"No, don't stop." Her words were soft and her voice steady. "Stay." Sara's right hand came to cover the one on her stomach, holding it in place. As his hand began its movement again, it slipped completely under her shirt, causing a shudder to race through her body.   
  
"I'm still not sure what to do about this, but I know I don't want to end up alone or obsessed like Lurie. Destroying the beauty that was almost his." Grissom's words were filled with certainty and tainted with despair. "All the reasons I had for not pursuing this seem so empty now." The circular path their hands travelled had grown from barely any movement to his fingers grazing a path been between the waistband of her pants and her bra.   
  
Grissom's thumb brushed the underside of her breast. Sara gasped, arching her back into his touch, lifting her head from where it had been resting against the door and letting it fall back to his shoulder. His hand stayed where it was, his thumb touching the underside of her breast.   
  
"Gris, if this goes a step further, there's no turning back. I won't, I can't do it. This is the line that hasn't been crossed. Cross it now and you have to keep going, because there'll be no ignoring this, no pushing me away and pretending this didn't happen." Sara was proud of the fact that she had been able to speak at all, let alone so coherently. But it had to be said; if they did this and he backed away again, she wouldn't recover. And she sure as hell wouldn't be able to ever work with him again. This was one ultimatum she intended to keep.   
  
"I know you think it's easy for me," Grissom said. "The back and forth, letting you in then shutting you out. But every time I have to shut you out again, I lose another part of myself. Every time I let you close I look at us, and I see what we could have. But I also see what will happen to me when you leave."   
  
"I haven't left yet. What makes you think I would once I had you?" She tried to turn, to look him in the eye so he'd see how serious she was, but his hand held her in place.   
  
"I see you with the others. They love you, play with you, flirt with you. Make you smile. I hadn't seen you smile in so long forgot how much I loved your smile. Besides the bee case, I can't remember the last time you smiled at me like that."   
  
"As long as you know that this is it… No more backing away or shutting me out. I've want this, wanted you for so long that to finally have the chance and then be shut out…Gris, I wouldn't be able to get past…" Sara trailed off abruptly as his lips once again placed a kiss on her neck. This time it lasted longer, and his tongue came out to taste her skin, caressing her.   
  
His teeth nipped her neck, causing a moan to escape her lips.   
  
"There won't be any backing away," he murmured next to her ear before taking the soft flesh into his mouth. Again Sara tried to turn to face him, but his hand that had been resting on the door by her shoulder spanned around her waist, holding her in place. He continued his assault on her neck and shoulder: kissing, nipping, licking. Sara was sure that she was going to have marks in a place or two where he paid particular attention to sucking her skin until it sang.   
  
The hand by her breast was no longer content to be idle. It slowly made its way up until he was cupping her through her bra, his thumb making lazy circles around her nipple. The sensation caused Sara to drop her hand from where it had been resting on top of his. Grissom paused for a moment, as if to make sure this was still all right with her. Sara arched back into him, rubbing her butt against his growing erection.   
  
"Please, Gris -- let me turn around so I can see you, so I can kiss you." Sara's voice came out low and raspy, and it was hard to believe that it could have been hers.   
  
"In a minute," he mumbled. Slowly, his hand released her breast and came down to meet the other at the hem of her shirt. With unmistakeable intent Grissom began to raise her shirt. When he got to her shoulders, Sara lifted her hands and he drew her shirt over her head and down, off her arms.   
  
Starting at her fingertips, Grissom gently ran his hand up her wrists, caressing the inside of her elbow, toying with her hair where it lay on her shoulder. His fingers traced down her bra straps on a deliberate path to her chest. Once his hands cupped both her breasts, he paused. For a moment, neither moved, not even to breathe. They held perfectly still, physically and emotionally absorbed in the moment.   
  
Though it was only seconds, the moment seemed to go for an eternity. It was Grissom who finally broke the spell, running one hand up to trace where Sara's bra met skin. His fingers slipped under the lacy material to the hidden flesh beneath. When his finger grazed over her hardened nipple, Sara let out a whimper and arched her back, simultaneously offering Grissom her breasts and thrusting her ass into his groin.   
  
This time it was Grissom who groaned, his hands pausing for a moment before they continued on their exploration of her, though this time with a little less control. Sara's moans and gasps were running together, and she found herself wondering that if this was only from him removing her shirt and touching her chest, whether she would still be coherent when he was inside her.   
  
Abruptly, his hands left her body. Sara let out a whimper of protest.   
  
"Shh." Grissom's hands came to rest on her shoulders. "Lean forward for a second." Reluctantly, Sara did as he requested, a shiver running through her body at the sudden loss of warmth on her back. His hands made fast work of the bra's clasp, pushing the straps off her shoulders and letting gravity remove the garment from her arms. Once she was naked from the waist up, Grissom placed a kiss between her shoulder blades, then pulled her back to him. This time there was no hesitation. Their thighs aligned, his hardness nestled against her ass as they touched from waist to shoulder. Sara's head once again lolled back on Grissom's shoulder.   
  
Leaning down, Grissom explored her shoulder with his lips and tongue, bringing one hand up to explore her collarbone before dipping down to her breast. This time, he deliberately stayed away from her aching nipples. Sara wiggled and arched her back, trying feverishly to get his hand where she most desperately needed it. Grissom's other arm snaked around her, trapping one arm with his own, crossing her body until his hand locked around her wrist.   
  
"Be still. I've waited a lifetime for this, we both have. I don't want to rush this." He kissed her cheek gently before resuming his exploration of her shoulder. The hand on her wrist rubbed soothing circles over her wildly-beating pulse point. At least, Sara assumed it was supposed to be soothing, but when his other hand started making the same circles around her nipple she was ready to fuck being patient and just throw Grissom down and the floor and have at it.   
  
She was just getting ready to marshal her few remaining motor functions and do just that when his hand left her wrist. It traced a path across her stomach to the button of her pants. Without pausing, he undid it and the zipper below.   
  
Sara's thoughts came to a grinding halt as his hand made its way under the elastic of her underwear and tangled in the curls beneath. When she felt how easily his fingers could glide over her, she was momentarily embarrassed by how wet she really was. The embarrassment fled when he slipped a finger inside her, paused, then began thrusting at a lazy pace that matched the finger toying with her nipple.   
  
Another finger was soon pushing inside her, and his thumb was coming ever closer to her clit. Sara was unable to keep still any longer, and began to move her hips in time with his hand. Every time she pulled back, she rubbed his erection that much harder, causing him to groan.   
  
Suddenly his hands weren't touching her any more. Sara froze, wondering suddenly whether this was where Grissom regained his detachment and sent her on her way.   
  
"Turn around." His words were ragged, and she realized now that his whole body was trembling. Slowly she turned to face him, looking him in the eye for the first time since this had started. In the end she was too much of a coward to hold his gaze, terrified that she wouldn't see what she needed to. Instead, she brought her hands up and slowly undid the bottom button of his shirt. Idly, she noted that it was not the same shirt that he had been wearing for the last three days. Hesitantly she made her way up his shirt, undoing the buttons as she went.   
  
At the top, she let her hands fall back to her sides, unsure of herself and hating it.   
  
"Look at me." Though low, his voice held a hint of command, which surprised her. He had never been this direct with her before, so why did he have to be now? When she failed to comply, a finger came under her chin and raised her head. "You've never been one to back down from me in the past," he said. "Why now?"   
  
A smile quirked her lips. "And here I was just thinking that it was never like you to be so direct."   
  
"I've turned over a new leaf." His hand left her chin and came up to caress her face. "Sara, please." Tentatively, she brought her eyes up to meet his. When their eyes met, she was glad that he had forced her hand. Yes, there was lust, desire, need. But there was also a certainty and calm that she had not expected, nor known that she needed to see.   
  
Sara lifted her hands to his shoulders and pushed his shirt down, allowing gravity to work on his clothes the same way he had for her. With the shirt off, she brought her hand behind his neck, tugging his head until their lips were centimeters apart. She waited then, leaving it up to him to cross the final distance. For once he didn't hesitate, but brushed his lips over hers. Once. Twice. A third time, before crushing her to him. The gasp she let out as their bare chests touched for the first time let him slide his tongue into her mouth.   
  
Their tongues duelled as his hands made their way down her back to cup her ass, pushing down her pants and underwear as he went. Sara moaned as another barrier dropped and the rough denim of his pants rubbed against her thighs. They began to grind against each other in earnest, hands flying over each other, never staying in one place for more than a moment.   
  
Grissom tore his lips from her and began peppering kisses along her neck, across her collarbone and down between her breasts. He trailed his tongue and lips down her stomach, where he placed a lingering kiss above her thatch of curly hair before kneeling down the whole way to remove the rest of her clothing.   
  
At last, Sara stood naked before him, leaning back against the door for support. Her legs trembled as his breath made its way across her heated centre. Slowly, deliberately, Grissom ran his hands up from her ankles, over her knees to the inside of her shaking thighs, then up to her core. His fingers glided over her folds, tracing them several times before plunging two fingers deep inside her.   
  
A low scream burst from Sara's lips at the sensation, her muscles clenching around his fingers. He brought his head to her, his tongue running over her opening and around his own fingers, tasting her briefly before heading onward. His tongue flicked over her clit just once, before veering off to explore the flesh surrounding it.   
  
Unable to control herself any longer, Sara's hips began thrusting in time with the fingers buried deep inside her. Low moans and groans came continuously from her now, and some part of her was surprised how fast Grissom had been able to bring her to this point. She was so close.   
  
Grissom ran the flat of his tongue over her clit, pressing hard, and then Sara's orgasm was racing through her body. Her muscles clenched down on the fingers still moving inside her and her body shook as every part of her tensed, then released. The legs which had been a shaky support at best gave way, and Sara melted down the door onto Grissom's lap.   
  
He pulled her close to him with one arm, leaving his other hand inside her as he peppered kisses across her sweaty face, murmuring words of praise and comfort.   
  
As she began to come back to herself, she realized that his hand was still inside her, his fingers barely moving, stroking her so softly she almost couldn't feel them. Though she had just had a shattering climax, she could feel another one begin to build from deep within herself.   
  
With a great effort Sara lifted her head and opened her eyes. She stared at him for a long time before lowering her head and brushing her lips against his.   
  
"Can we move this to the bedroom?" Sara was getting cold leaning against the door, and kneeling on the floor with her resting in his lap had to be hell on Grissom's knees.   
  
Gradually he withdrew his hand from her, his fingers flickering against her clit one last time making Sara shudder and moan, desperately wishing his hand was back inside her body. His fingers glistened as he rested them against her thigh for a moment, before raising them and thoroughly licking each one clean under Sara's fascinated gaze.   
  
"You taste so much better then I ever could have imagined." They shared a look, an acknowledgement of what she had heard earlier that day: that he had thought of this before.   
  
Slowly, they rose and made their way to Grissom's bedroom. 


End file.
